Overwhelmed

Ya know those times when you just feel overwhelmed? With school. With work. With life. Lately, I have been pretty overwhelmed. Guys, college is hard. It's so hard. And most of the time I'm just trying to get through one day at a time. Like today. I went to work and then had back to back tests. Physiology which is the hardest class I have ever taken and then math my worst subject of my existence. So prior to this day I have been living with my nose in my textbooks, notes and study guides. I have had multiple breakdowns, lots of frustration and a few tears. See, up to this point in my educational career, I could do anything. Nothing was too hard for me. (besides math, cause it's the worst) I studied hard and I succeeded and at the time, ya those classes were hard, those tests were hard, but I did it, and I did it good. But now. What about now! I am so overwhelmed and basically depressed over my grades and trying to get perfect grades so I can get into my programs and have a good resume that it has sucked the fun out of life. College is a fun sucker. 

But then. When I was having a real rough night. Not being able to focus, or understand why the brain works the way it does or why I have to make a graph out of x, I found this little beauty: 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154069086140012&id=885290011 

                  WATCH THIS. 

Cause this beautiful clip. Literally saved my butt. We don't have to be perfect. It's not our job. We just have to be ourselves. We have to try our best, our best will always be good enough, for us maybe no. But for Him it will be. And in the end that is all that matters. 

Talk about a reality check. I love that cute man. And what he has to say in that video. And so now, I still feel overwhelmed. With love. With compassion. And with the strive to be better and try harder. Not to put myself down for not getting 100 in my test or feeling like a dumb dumb. Cause that's not the case. Everyone has brain farts, es ok. And thankfully it is the start of my weekend from school. So here's to a Happy Halloween to all you fabulous people out there who took the time to read my rant. I love ya. Keep up the good work. 

                        Xoxo, ness 

The Perfect Day

Lately I've been a little stressed.. Ok, a lotta stressed. Starting a new semester and working more hours was harder than I expected.  I am so busy all the time and honestly it is just wearing me out. I have zero me time, which sometimes that's all you need is a little me time. I absolutely love my job and I love the opportunity I have to go to the school of my choice, but sometimes growing up is just really hard. Things don't always go as planned. Trials are placed in our lives at the most difficult times -- and we feel like we aren't going to make it out, but then there is always the light at the tunnel.

This past weekend I saw my light, I FINALLY got to go horseback riding at the ranch, and that, is just what I needed. Like for real, it was the best. I was on cloud 9, the whole time. Not to mention it's my favorite season so the weather was perfect and the color changing trees were beyond describable. It was the perfect day. During my ride I had time to think to myself. Guys. Life isn't all that bad. It's actually really good. We just have bad days. Bad days dont make a bad life. There is always something positive to think of.  There is always a blessing to be grateful for. The trials we are placed with are for a reason and even though during them it feels like the end of the world..we will survive. We will be ok. We will look back on this time and realize why we needed it, what we learned from it and most likely laugh about it. Life is good. Hard, but good. Sometimes to realize that we just need to stop and chill. Go to the mountains and look at the pretty leaves, it'll make life better. Happy first official day of Fall!

                                                                    xoxo, nessa

Called To Serve

Hello lovelies! I am officially the worst blogger on the planet! I really love blogging, but I love reading others blogs more than writing my own..hence why I am going on one post a month..my bad. But hey, there is always room for improvement! 

Sidenote: I had this post all finished over a week ago and then it didn't save. So this post was meant for July. :( 

Any who! This summer I have had the beautiful, fun experience of celebrating 1 year marks for a lot of my missionaries! Most of them being in July! This past year or six months that they have been serving has been CRAZY. And I am pretty sure that it gets crazier every day..like I can hardly keep up with how fast time is going. I can't believe that it has been a year since I had a million farewells, and tears streaming down my face cause I thought it was the end of the world with everyone leaving me. I mean, I have had some lonely nights, but I have come to embrace the lonely nights, which I think we should all learn to do. We have time for ourselves. To think and ponder, to do really well in your classes cause you have a lot of study time, to read a book you have been wanting to read or to catch up with old friends, to make new friends, to become best friends with your family. All that has really happened and I couldn't be more grateful for it. My testimony has never been stronger. I am pretty sure I say that like every post. But it's totally true. Every week I have the opportunity to get emails from my missionaries and every week my testimony grows. Not only through the emails and hearing their experiences, but through missing them, and praying for them and going through trials of my own. 

This summer would also have been the summer I would have returned home from serving if I would have turned my papers in when I wanted. But I didn't and that's ok! When they changed the mission age I immediately wanted to serve. I was going through a rough patch with school and life and I thought a mission would solve it all. I met with my bishop wanting to start my papers and I was all gunho! It was what everyone was doing and excited about and asking about, so of course I wanted to be apart of this awesome opportunity to be in The Lords Army. Well. I was praying, and praying and praying. Trying to figure out if it was really what I needed to do, like duh, of course it was. Heavenly Father isn't going to tell someone not to serve. Wrongo. I had a ton of second thoughts, I was scared and worried and stressed. I just wanted an answer. I just wanted out. I got my answer. When I was discussing it with my mom one day. She was talking to me about serving and told me it would be hard to let me go, but if it is what I wanted she would support me all the way. But then she said you can't just run away from the things here at home though. You will have to face them all when you get back. People and school and everything. It isn't all just going to go away. I went to the temple--and received my answer. 

I didn't serve a mission. And it was a hard decision. Not because I felt guilty --like I needed to be in the field. I didn't want to let people down. I was scared of losing all my friends who were going to serve and I wasn't. People kept asking me over and over why I wasn't serving, when i was going to put my papers in, and that I just needed to serve. It was a lot of pressure. Like how many times do you have to tell the same person you're not going? I felt like I was being judged. But guys, going on a mission isn't for everyone. It is a personal decision between you and The Lord. It is YOUR decision. Heavenly Father will love you no matter what. He will find another mission for you, even if you don't know it. We are all serving missions. The name tag just makes you cooler. So I'm not that cool and whatever, I am finally ok with that. The past year and a half I have learned more about myself than I thought I could. I have become closer with my Savior, I have made new best friends and gotten closer to my old best friends. I raised sheep! I got an awesome job that is a blessing in my life more than I ever would have thought! I completed 2 years of college and grown closer to my family more then ever. And it has been a beautiful ride. 

xoxo, Nessa

Baby Sheep ❤️

As some of you know, I have been blessed with the opportunity to raise a little lamb this summer! I also raised two last summer, however this summer sheep is a little different.

One day we were at the ranch having a  work day, it was spring time and lambing season was in full swing! Which means we had to make a lot of lamb checking trips to make sure everything was going well with the mama sheep and their lambs. Well this particular day my aunt said one of the sheep had a "big bag" meaning she had so much milk that her lambs couldn't get milk from her. So what does this mean? We have to catch her and milk her! So we start rounding up the herd and as she was running with the herd she split her milk bag open. Needless to say, blood was everywhere. We feared that she would bleed to death if we didn't catch her soon. Well shortly after my uncle lasso'd her up and we loaded her and her little twin lambs on the trailer and headed back for the barn. It took three of us to hold her down, she was a big mama and she had horns! Once we got to the barn we only had one option, and we had to act quick. We had to stitch her on up. Luckily, we had sutures, however we didn't have a suture kit. Everyone thought since I was a trained MA that I should do the honors, and so I did. With some pliers and my suture I acted quickly and stitched up the tear as best I could.  It was one of the moments where you  know your stuff and you just go for it.  After  I stitched her all up we put her in a box stall with her two lambs. We bottle fed the lambs, knowing that they hadn't eaten since they were born earlier that day. We left the lambs with their mother and headed home. Knowing we had to come back and check on them the next day. Baby boy didn't make it through the night. And my heart ached. Did I do everything I could? But realizing that we did and that this kind of this happens often during lambing season we moved along. Baby girl however, was still going strong. For a whole week we went up to the ranch everyday to check the mama and baby. We bottle fed the lamb a bottle  everyday, hoping that mama would be able to take her back. Due to the trauma of her bag she was unable. So that left one solution. Nessa and fam gets to raise a baby lamb!! Last summer,  we had the opportunity to raise two lambs and man it was quite the chore. But we loved it, or at least I loved it. So thinking about only raising one, psh, piece of cake. Lizzie lamb. That's what we call her. I decided on Lizzie because this lamb, was different. She's a very well behaved, sweet and hilarious lamb. So, Lizzie is the name, why? Cause we called my grandma Lizzie. And so the name stuck.

Lizzie has been living in the ville for  about 4 weeks. She drinks 3 bottles a day, loves nibbling on everything in her site and likes to cuddle. She is a spoiled little sheep. We take her on morning walks, she gets to come in the house occasionally, ( mostly cause she runs in right after you)  and she enjoys car rides and scooter runs.  Although it may all seem like fun and games, cause it mostly is. Lizzie is A LOT of work. She acts like a dog, but she can't be potty trained (I've tried) you have to bottle feed her, teach her what she can and can't eat, how to drink out of a bucket, and she needs lots of love and exercise.  But other than that she is a pure ball of fun!!  I know I have been blessed with the lamb angel for a reason. I am her mother, she follows me everywhere, when I am not home to let her out and my mom and sister does she goes crazy (but she really loves them too).  I like tot think it's to teach me responsibility. If I can raise a lamb I can raise a baby? Maybe. Maybe not. I am not sure. But I  know I have definitely learned a lot from this experience and I wouldn't trade it for a thing in the world. I hope my future children love me as much as this little lamb and I can't even imagine the love I'll have for my children, I mean I love this baby sheep a ton, and she's a sheep. Lizzie also loves visitors, so feel free to swing by and say hi :) thanks for reading!

Xoxo, Nessa 

Homebody

I had someone call me this word, homebody, the other day, and I took it kind of offensively at first. Since I have been out of High School I have been attending the University of Utah and trying to figure and piece together my life. In that amount of time more has happened then I could ever imagine. But the other day when someone called me a homebody, I really stepped back and thought about things.

At first I thought that is so rude, being a homebody is not a good thing. I am not outgoing. I don't live on my own. I basically don't do anything with my life and I suck. I was so upset. But then I stepped back and looked at it in a different perspective. I have been so blessed, with the most beautiful life. I have been given a life and family and friends that I love so much I don't have a desire to leave the home. Now, whoa. Hold your horses. I am not saying that I am going to live at home forever, cause I am not. But at this critical time in my life where I am working and going to school and trying to do all these things to benefit my future life and family. I will live at home. and I am fine with it. People judge me for it. I know they do. From comments people make to people telling me how I need to live my life. It is frustrating. But that is life, and that is people, so we have to deal with it. I have always been very open to hearing peoples different opinions or suggestions on different things, because that is nice stuff. If telling someone something that they can benefit from, I am all for it. However, it's when they keep telling you the same thing over and over is when things get a little old. And what do we do in these certain circumstances? Well for me, I feel sorry for myself. Am I not living my life right? Do I really need to move away from everyone and everything I love for me to grow up? If that is the case, you better put me in a bubble and ship me off.

So what does it all come down too? For me, I have to think of it as, this is my life. I am living it to the best of my abilities. There are certain things I could do differently sure, but for now, I am doing the best I can. Sometimes, that is all we can do. It is hard growing up, no matter what stage of it you are in, but you can do it! There are so many difficult things that we have to go through. It sucks. But if we didn't go through the hardships we wouldn't grow, we wouldn't learn and we wouldn't be who we are meant to be. And to think that we never have to go through anything alone. The Savior is always right on our side. We can turn to him for anything. We may be alone physically, but never spiritually. The Lord is always there to reassure us, to help us make decisions, to direct us on the right path. We are merely tools in his hands. As long as we rely on The Savior and the Gospel, we can make it through anything. Because, "Light always overcomes darkness" and because of all of that, I think I can be a homebody for awhile longer.

xoxo, Nessa

What up Pretty Mama?

It's Mothers Day!! So Happy Mother's Day to all you marvelous mother's out there! I am so grateful that there is a day dedicated to my best friend. I love Mother's Day, like a lot, and I know I am not the only one who does! There are just so many beautiful women who deserve to be celebrated, well today is the day for that! Mother's Day doesn't only celebrate mother's, but women in general. There are so many women in my life I consider as a mom to me, my aunts, grandma's, friends mom, relief society sisters. And some of these women don't even have children of their own, but the way they present themselves to the world, you know they have a motherly love. It is a natural instinct for women, we are all motherly in one way or another. Whether it be to your dog or your garden, or in my case my little lambs I raise, it's in our genes no matter what way you look at it.

 

> To the Mother: Thank you for always being on my side. For loving me unconditionally all the time no matter the mistakes I make. For bringing me up when I am feeling down. For having my back through and through and supporting me in all my dreams and goals. For being my truest best friend and letting me cry on your lap. You're not only the best mother to me, but to all of your students. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, and are also the funniest person I have ever met. You always know how to make me laugh and how to lighten to mood. You're the best example I have in my life and I can't begin to even thank you enough for being the best mom ever! I hope you have the most wonderful day, love you forever and always.

 

> To the Grandma's: I can't express my gratitude enough to you wonderful women. The best mother's I know. You have raised your children to be successful and stay strong to what they're taught. You raised my parents, the people that mean the most to me in my life and I couldn't be more grateful to you for that. Your caring heart and poise in everything you do is always something I have admired and continue to strive to follow. I love you both so much and am so blessed to have such examples in my life.

 

> To the Auntie's: What would I even do without these wonderful women in my life. I am convinced I am blessed with the most amazing aunts on the planet earth. All of them would go out of their way to do anything for anyone. They have raised the most beautiful children who have become my best friends. They let me tell them about my ridiculous life and confide in them when I need someone to talk to and my mother has already heard the story endless times. They laugh with me and cry with me and I cant even begin to express the love I have for my awesome aunts.

 

> To the Sissy: Even though you're still a youngin, you deserve one of these because I know without a doubt you will be an amazing women, you're already an amazing young women. I look up to you more than you will ever know. You are the biggest example in my life and I hope I can be like you some day. You make a difference in everything you do, and you give everything 100%. You are the nicest person I know, always making new friends, something I wish I was better at. I love you, moo.

 

> To the future Mother-In-Law: I don't know you yet, but I cant wait to meet you and be apart of your family, someday, eventually, hopefully. I thank you for raising the man of my dreams. The perfect husband that all girls dream of. For being his biggest supporter and example. For teaching him right from wrong and how to love. I couldn't be more grateful to you.

 

I hope everyone really has a wonderful Mother's Day. Spoil those special women in your life, they do more for you than you even realize. Thanks so much for reading!

 

xoxo, Nessa

Because Of Him

Oh hello lovely blogger world!!
Well, shoot, I really suck at this whole blogging thing. I am a lot better at reading blogs then writing them! But then when I do take the time to write I absolutely love it and kick myself for not being consistent. Ugh! It is something I need to work on! I will work on!

So first things first, HAPPY SUMMER!! I just finished up my finals last night and couldn't be happier. This semester went swimmingly on by quicker than I ever thought a semester could go. It was full of lots of studying, crying, and more studying. This semester was very different from any of my other semesters so far, I have A LOT of friends who are serving The Lord right now, and one of my closest friends whom I have taken countless classes with and spent a big amount of time with doing all that fun college stuff was gone! And it was the weirdest! So one thing that I have learned this semester is independence! I didn't always have someone to take a class with or walk somewhere on campus with, I was a lone ranger. However, I met some pretty fantastic people and made forever friends that I know I wouldn't have survived the semester without. I definitely went outside my comfort zone this last semester and couldn't be more proud. Not to mention my grades were rockin. I still have a long ways to go with the whole college thing, but I think I am finally getting the hang of it.

There has been a hashtag trending ever since Easter and I LOVE it. I knew I was going to do a post about it because it touched my heart like no other mother! Of course with it being springtime and Easter not too long ago, we have the beautiful opportunity to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Savior and Redeemer and of course when Easter comes around we think of that and bada bing bada boom Happy Easter. But what if you took it to another level. Without Christ's resurrection we would not be where we are today. We would not have the things we have. The gospel would not be what it is, and basically we would all be hosed. Cause we wouldn't even be here. But see, that is where this whole beautiful #becauseofhim comes into play.

Because of Him I am able to have an Eternal family. Because of Him I am given the gift of repentance. Because of Him I can try again and be forgiven when I make mistakes. Because of Him I am never alone. Because of Him I can pray anytime I want. Because of Him I have the ability to make choices. Because of Him I can bear testimony of his truths. Because of Him I can love unconditionally. Because of Him I can serve. Because of Him I can be happy. Because of Him I can learn and grow. Because of Him I can smile.  Because of Him I can find joy in the journey. Because of Him I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is Because of Him that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

  Just in case the video struggles, here is the direct link, http://easter.mormon.org/ DONT MISS OUT!

Life is so, so hard in this day and age. And I know that nobody has it easy. Everyone has their trials and tribulations, everyone knows what it is like to hurt. But, Because of Him, we don't have to go it alone. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect and pure, and I know this to be true. The Gospel is perfect, the people in the Gospel are imperfect. We should never let anyone offend us by saying something we know The Lord would not approve of. Heavenly Father loves you no matter what, he will always stand by your side to fight any battle, you just have to have the Faith to know he is there. I love this gospel with all my heart and I say these things in the name of my savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

                                              xoxo, Nessa